3 years ago today I started my first full-time job.
I was 21 years old, hadn’t even graduated college yet, and was becoming all too familiar with the sense of imposter syndrome. I had experienced a lot of change in the 12 months leading up to that moment: moving, new relationships forming, others fading away… and in the midst of the chaos, this new opportunity felt like a beacon of hope and gave me something to work towards when everything else seemed to be up in the air. I don’t recall wanting anything more than that job in that moment and can remember waking up every morning wondering if that was the day. "Will they call today? Will they call at all?”
That call eventually came, and I was offered the job. I was sitting in the parking lot of the internship I had at the time. I said yes, profusely thanked my soon-to-be boss, and cried after hanging up.
I had always remembered saying, “one day…” with an ellipsis hanging at the end like the gateway to a thousand possibilities. But on September 1st, 2021, I got to finally say, “day one.”
I mentioned imposter syndrome earlier for a reason. The first few months of that role felt like a whirlwind, and that feeling of “not good enough” would inevitably bubble up, sometimes easy to brush off and other times not so much, but I had to remind myself that I was chosen for a reason. While my faith has since bolstered this realization, reminding me that I am most importantly chosen by my Heavenly Father, I hadn’t yet found that clarity at the time and was doubting myself often.
"I’m too young. I don’t have the right degree. I’m from a small town. I don’t have enough experience."
Over time, those thoughts would fade, not completely, but enough to where I could push them aside and keep them from taking up anymore of my headspace. 3 years later, I sit here and remember the times I jokingly told someone, “let me know when you find the cure to imposter syndrome.” I know now that that cure doesn’t exist and that you don’t have to prevent imposter syndrome from drifting in as long as you know how to treat the symptoms when it does.
"My age gives me a unique perspective to share. My degree is a key to open many doors, not just one. My humble upbringing taught me the value of community. I am a lifelong learner who gains experience every day."
Appreciate where you are and how far you have come. And as I sit here, sipping a coffee I would have found bitter and hated 3 years ago, I’m too busy focusing on growth to acknowledge the doubt. These days are filled with much more goodness that I’d rather share.
Today, September 1st, 2024, I am tackling another “one day” and instead saying “day one.” It only took me 3 years to finally put pen to paper, but now I have some catching up to do. Follow along as I share self discoveries, workforce and workplace musings, and the occasional cold brew recipe that fuels it all.
Because for the last 3 years - that’s what’s been brewing.
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